Fears and Heartbeats

I've been a little scarce since I announced my pregnancy. Having a lot of fears. One of the joys of having recurrent miscarriages. You never actually get to enjoy a pregnancy. I worry about every little twinge or cramp, I worry on days when I feel good (how messed up is that?). Going to the bathroom can cause some anxiety for fear of finding blood on the toilet paper. I worry when my boobs don't hurt, I worry when I'm not tired, I worry that I don't feel sick.

We had our ultrasound yesterday (at 6 weeks 2 days). Baby is measuring right on target. We saw his/her beautiful little heart fluttering away with a heart rate of 118 which is just right. That has put my mind at ease a little. Of course our last miscarriage we saw a heart beat at 6.5 weeks so I know we're not out of the woods yet. Of course we also saw a moderate sized subchorionic bleed too then which is not the case this time. Also the baby was measuring about 4 days behind then too, this time we're right on target. So I'm going to try to relax now and stop worrying so much. Note I said "try".